if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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