There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
