this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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