Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
