She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
