in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
