you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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