At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
