I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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