Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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