I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
