I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
