Your dad touched me again.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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