I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize