Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
