I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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