'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize