why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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