so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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