i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
