I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i need some magic done to my vagina
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
