OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
