I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
