yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize