so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
