So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
