Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
