Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize