I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize