i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
