yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES