and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here