I cockslap morals
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell