another moral hangover. fuck.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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