Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
