I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
