Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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