end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
this will be a night to untag.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
