if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
