It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize