you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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