I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize