The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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