oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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