break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
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the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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