is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
