I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
