You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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