apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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