So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
