is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
