If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize