Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
