drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
