I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
