In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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