I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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