i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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