whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
